Again, this blog post isn’t going to be a long one because I haven’t got all that much to write about. However, I was thinking about how I wrote about bitchy girls the other night because I was feeling like a strong independent woman.
Today, I am feeling extremely grateful for the unbitchy/non-bitchy/lovely girls (and otherwise) in my life.
I am surrounded by some wonderful, intelligent, caring, funny people who make me feel incredibly lucky that I met them and that they are a part of my life. This is strange for me because I spent a long time without friends. When I did make friends, I found it really hard to cope with people liking me because I didn’t believe it could be true, and also because I was so used to being a strong, independent woman. It was difficult, for example, for me to agree to meet a friend to travel to university together because I didn’t see the point – I was so used to doing everything on my own.
I am that annoying person who gets drunk and then spends hours apologising for everything and asking if people really like me.
I’ve gone on and on about being bullied and how difficult that was in the past, so I don’t really feel a need to revisit it, but this is the background against which I made friends, so it does have an impact on the way that I feel about them.
I love that there are people in my life who text my first; want to talk to me and meet me; invite me to do things with them; want to know how I am…it makes me feel incredibly special, and I hope that I can be the same friend to them that they are to me. Sometimes I worry that I am not able to be a good friend, but I try my hardest so that has to be good enough.
Despite the fact that the weekend showed me who my real friends are, the weekend showed me who my real friends are (including people who knew I was nervous and messaged me when I was feeling shaky). This is the more important part and the bit that should be celebrated. Focusing on the positive is far more important than dwelling on the negative.
I guess this is a post to say that, despite there being some negative people who are (no longer) part of my life, the people who make me feel like me are worth infinitely more.
You know who you are and you are very special and very much loved.
Thankyou for being you and I love you to bits, all of you.