Are you cross with me?

I walk down corridors at work with ‘resting anxiety face’ and my arms crossed across my chest in a sort of strange and protective manner. This is not because I think I’m about to be attacked, but because I am constantly frightened that I have upset everyone and that everyone is cross with me and […]

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Life After

Mental illness is exhausting – there’s no doubt about it. It’s like having a new puppy that demands constant attention and never grows up. Every time you think it’s settled for a while, it wakes up and cries, or demands to be fed, or wees on your new rug. It can be – and is […]

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The Rabbit Hole

I’m going to be honest. I’m not in a good place at the moment. Physically, I know that I’m the furthest away from what I should be that I have been since I was discharged from hospital. Mentally, I’m never so sure, because I always feel that – when I get to the point that […]

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Triggered

Before I start, I want to say that – if you are living with PTSD – this is not about you. I think you’re brave and strong for coping with such a horrendous illness day in, day out and you deserve all the warnings you need to get through life. Trigger warnings, for the uninitiated, […]

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Appointment Fatigue

I had a dentist appointment on Monday. Strictly speaking, I should have had a dentist appointment some time before that but I had been putting it off. I know that ‘suck it up’ is a pretty good way to get through things you don’t want to do, but the dentist just takes the biscuit. She […]

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It Might Not Be An Illness Though

The first thing we need to establish is that there’s a difference between mental health and mental illness. Everyone has mental health and it’s really important that everyone does their best to look after it. Not everyone has mental illness. I felt a bit guilty about writing that, as though I’m gatekeeping the mental illness […]

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Triennial

Three years ago today, I was discharged from inpatient care. It was a sunny day, although all I really remember is how bizarre it felt, and how scared I was of being launched into the outside world. I’ve reminded myself of this a couple of times today – it gives me a little thrill of […]

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