‘If you don’t gain some weight before your next appointment, there’s a bed waiting for you in hospital.’ How many people living with an eating disorder have heard this? I was driving to work this morning and thinking about how unfair this is. Is there any other illness where you’re threatened with a hospital admission? […]Read More A Week to Turn It Around
When I was stuck in the revolting, painful cycle of restriction before my admission, I used to sit up in the middle of the night typing out ‘if not now then when?’ onto endless Word documents. The problem was that I had no intention – however much I desperately wanted to get better – of […]Read More Take the Leap
So, it’s Friday morning and I’m sitting backwards in a circle of fifty people whilst someone occasionally squeezes my shoulders. I am also sobbing (not so) quietly to myself. I’ve been away. For those of you who have known me for some time, you will know that this is a big thing. I do not leave […]Read More You Can Do Anything
Recovery is not a metaphor. It is not a snail coming out of its shell. It is not beautiful; or perfect; or miraculous. It is bloody hard work. It is not the beginning of something, nor the end. It is the continuation of you. It is not a declaration of peace and tranquility; or of […]Read More Metaphorically Recovering
It appears to be thinking Sunday morning again. I am not going to lie: it’s the end of term and I’m so, so, so tired and when I’m tired stuff is hard. This week, because life is so utterly rubbish sometimes, I have this to say: For me, the hardest bit of recovery is the middle […]Read More A Message for a Drizzly Day
It’s two years since I was discharged today. I made this short film to mark that day.Read More Two Years Later
My friend Sophie messaged me the other day. She asked me whether I’d be up for writing a post about how being in inpatient care solves problems, but creates other problems as well. I’ve never actually written a post for someone else, or about a topic someone else has suggested before, so I’m sorry if […]Read More What Happens Afterwards?