Are you cross with me?

I walk down corridors at work with ‘resting anxiety face’ and my arms crossed across my chest in a sort of strange and protective manner. This is not because I think I’m about to be attacked, but because I am constantly frightened that I have upset everyone and that everyone is cross with me and […]

Mousling (ie doesn’t fit on this blog but I did something so…)

Mousling, mousling oh so smallYou are barely there at allYet when you squeak you must be heardWho made this contrast, so absurd? Was it in the black of nightWhere eyes were formed, so button bright?Who rolled your tail thin and long,Curved and fluid like a song? And what tender hand and giftCould make your movements […]

A Call to Arms

Mental health awareness week whatever. Whenever it is, there is only one way to get through mental illness, and that is to fight. There will be people reading this thinking ‘oh it’s not me – I’m too ill/not worth enough/not ill enough to fight’. I mean you. And if you’re thinking any one of those […]

Life After

Mental illness is exhausting – there’s no doubt about it. It’s like having a new puppy that demands constant attention and never grows up. Every time you think it’s settled for a while, it wakes up and cries, or demands to be fed, or wees on your new rug. It can be – and is […]

The things I can’t ‘leave in the past’

I’ve written about it before. Heck, I’ve written about most of it before because mental illness is mainly just that: the same twisted thoughts swimming around your head until you want them out. It’s been in the news again this week that another teenager has made the heartbreaking decision to end her own life after […]

The Journey Home

I have never really been anywhere. Well, obviously I have, but I have never travelled away from what I know to find myself. I am one of those people who watches TV. I have a chair and a blanket and some crocheting to be getting on with and I love to have something – anything […]

The Rabbit Hole

I’m going to be honest. I’m not in a good place at the moment. Physically, I know that I’m the furthest away from what I should be that I have been since I was discharged from hospital. Mentally, I’m never so sure, because I always feel that – when I get to the point that […]

Triggered

Before I start, I want to say that – if you are living with PTSD – this is not about you. I think you’re brave and strong for coping with such a horrendous illness day in, day out and you deserve all the warnings you need to get through life. Trigger warnings, for the uninitiated, […]

The thing about wildflowers

I have always been somewhat fascinated by wildflowers. I am never sure whether I prefer their names or the dusty pastels of their appearance. Once upon a time, long ago, a princess of the fields and of the trees and of the sky lay in a sterile bower. I am the keeper of thoughts that belong […]

Appointment Fatigue

I had a dentist appointment on Monday. Strictly speaking, I should have had a dentist appointment some time before that but I had been putting it off. I know that ‘suck it up’ is a pretty good way to get through things you don’t want to do, but the dentist just takes the biscuit. She […]