It Might Not Be An Illness Though

The first thing we need to establish is that there’s a difference between mental health and mental illness. Everyone has mental health and it’s really important that everyone does their best to look after it. Not everyone has mental illness. I felt a bit guilty about writing that, as though I’m gatekeeping the mental illness […]

I Haven’t Done This for a Long Time (excuse me if it’s rusty)

Everything is dark. The sort of dark that is like a traveller’s cloak: your cloak. I imagine it over you, keeping you warm, its thick cloth wrapped around you against the cold of the night. The moors below might be the sea, so remote is the horizon, and this might be a ship, tossed about […]

Triennial

Three years ago today, I was discharged from inpatient care. It was a sunny day, although all I really remember is how bizarre it felt, and how scared I was of being launched into the outside world. I’ve reminded myself of this a couple of times today – it gives me a little thrill of […]

Listen out Loud

We are getting good at talking. At least, we are better than used to be. We can talk in our workplaces, our homes, our schools and with our friends. We can talk because we are brave. We can talk because – sometimes – we have no choice. We can talk because it’s the only way […]

Forgetting to Fight – or – sorry I’ve been a bit of a twit

I’ve got nothing to say today apart from the fact that I’m sorry and thank you so much for sticking around. Christmas really knocked me. I didn’t cope as well as I thought I might; it wasn’t the perfect family Christmas that I had wanted. It made me miserable. I have been miserable, and probably […]

Inside Outside

When I was eleven, I stopped talking to people. [This isn’t a ‘woe is me’ tale because I don’t feel sorry for myself: my life ain’t bad really.] It started when I was bullied. It’s commonly known and accepted that bullying does that to people. I was embarrassed to share what was happening to me […]

…keep going…[or] the worst day of my life and the pain it left that has since got less painful

I can’t remember the conversation I had with the child. I can’t even remember whether the child was a boy or a girl. But I know the child’s mother came back from wherever she had been – probably the toilet – and called the child away. I was weird. I had just thrown a whole […]