The Journey Home

I have never really been anywhere. Well, obviously I have, but I have never travelled away from what I know to find myself. I am one of those people who watches TV. I have a chair and a blanket and some crocheting to be getting on with and I love to have something – anything […]

The Rabbit Hole

I’m going to be honest. I’m not in a good place at the moment. Physically, I know that I’m the furthest away from what I should be that I have been since I was discharged from hospital. Mentally, I’m never so sure, because I always feel that – when I get to the point that […]

Triggered

Before I start, I want to say that – if you are living with PTSD – this is not about you. I think you’re brave and strong for coping with such a horrendous illness day in, day out and you deserve all the warnings you need to get through life. Trigger warnings, for the uninitiated, […]

The thing about wildflowers

I have always been somewhat fascinated by wildflowers. I am never sure whether I prefer their names or the dusty pastels of their appearance. Once upon a time, long ago, a princess of the fields and of the trees and of the sky lay in a sterile bower. I am the keeper of thoughts that belong […]

Appointment Fatigue

I had a dentist appointment on Monday. Strictly speaking, I should have had a dentist appointment some time before that but I had been putting it off. I know that ‘suck it up’ is a pretty good way to get through things you don’t want to do, but the dentist just takes the biscuit. She […]

Eating Disorders’ Bragging Week

I am bored. I am bored of Eating Disorders Awareness Week and how it’s just turned into ‘show off your dramatic story with pictures’ week. That’s not the point. The point is to educate people about eating disorders. The point is to educate people so that they can spot them in themselves or others at […]

It Might Not Be An Illness Though

The first thing we need to establish is that there’s a difference between mental health and mental illness. Everyone has mental health and it’s really important that everyone does their best to look after it. Not everyone has mental illness. I felt a bit guilty about writing that, as though I’m gatekeeping the mental illness […]

I Haven’t Done This for a Long Time (excuse me if it’s rusty)

Everything is dark. The sort of dark that is like a traveller’s cloak: your cloak. I imagine it over you, keeping you warm, its thick cloth wrapped around you against the cold of the night. The moors below might be the sea, so remote is the horizon, and this might be a ship, tossed about […]

Triennial

Three years ago today, I was discharged from inpatient care. It was a sunny day, although all I really remember is how bizarre it felt, and how scared I was of being launched into the outside world. I’ve reminded myself of this a couple of times today – it gives me a little thrill of […]

Listen out Loud

We are getting good at talking. At least, we are better than used to be. We can talk in our workplaces, our homes, our schools and with our friends. We can talk because we are brave. We can talk because – sometimes – we have no choice. We can talk because it’s the only way […]