I haven’t got much to say today apart from that it’s four years since I made the choice to start eating again. To sit in the Dining Room on a blistering hot day and to finish the food in front of me. To recover. It wasn’t perfect and it’s not perfect. It’s not always even […]Read More July 1st
Three years ago today, I was discharged from inpatient care. It was a sunny day, although all I really remember is how bizarre it felt, and how scared I was of being launched into the outside world. I’ve reminded myself of this a couple of times today – it gives me a little thrill of […]Read More Triennial
‘If you don’t gain some weight before your next appointment, there’s a bed waiting for you in hospital.’ How many people living with an eating disorder have heard this? I was driving to work this morning and thinking about how unfair this is. Is there any other illness where you’re threatened with a hospital admission? […]Read More A Week to Turn It Around
My friend Sophie messaged me the other day. She asked me whether I’d be up for writing a post about how being in inpatient care solves problems, but creates other problems as well. I’ve never actually written a post for someone else, or about a topic someone else has suggested before, so I’m sorry if […]Read More What Happens Afterwards?
I watched To The Bone last night. This makes me a hypocrite because I said I wouldn’t, but I couldn’t sleep so I did. #lifechoices Anyway, obviously I have an opinion on it because I am an annoyingly opinionated person. I would (and will) argue, however, that it’s not fair for anybody to have an […]Read More Another boring opinion about To The Bone
The Long Answer: Monday 21st September Woke up at the proper time this morning (6.13 am), had my shower and then went back to sleep until breakfast. I had toast with apricot jam, weetabix and orange juice. Then I read for a bit before Day Programme, where I peeled dried PVA glue off my hands […]Read More What’s a Day on an Eating Disorders Ward like?
Not so long ago, I started a new job. Without wishing to jinx anything (because that’s the sort of anxious person I am), I love it. It’s the type of job I always hoped for when I was training. But, last week, I found myself feeling unexpectedly lonely. Inpatient treatment – for me, anyway – […]Read More Lonely
When I was inpatient, it was a running joke that new admissions would always have had ‘the worst anorexia in the world ever’, a claim backed up with evidence – usually blood-test related – from a medical professional: “My consultant had never met anyone as anaemic as me.”; “I had the lowest temperature of anyone ever […]Read More My Big Mouth