I walk down corridors at work with ‘resting anxiety face’ and my arms crossed across my chest in a sort of strange and protective manner. This is not because I think I’m about to be attacked, but because I am constantly frightened that I have upset everyone and that everyone is cross with me and […]Read More Are you cross with me?
Mental health awareness week whatever. Whenever it is, there is only one way to get through mental illness, and that is to fight. There will be people reading this thinking ‘oh it’s not me – I’m too ill/not worth enough/not ill enough to fight’. I mean you. And if you’re thinking any one of those […]Read More A Call to Arms
Mental illness is exhausting – there’s no doubt about it. It’s like having a new puppy that demands constant attention and never grows up. Every time you think it’s settled for a while, it wakes up and cries, or demands to be fed, or wees on your new rug. It can be – and is […]Read More Life After
I’m going to be honest. I’m not in a good place at the moment. Physically, I know that I’m the furthest away from what I should be that I have been since I was discharged from hospital. Mentally, I’m never so sure, because I always feel that – when I get to the point that […]Read More The Rabbit Hole
I’ve got nothing to say today apart from the fact that I’m sorry and thank you so much for sticking around. Christmas really knocked me. I didn’t cope as well as I thought I might; it wasn’t the perfect family Christmas that I had wanted. It made me miserable. I have been miserable, and probably […]Read More Forgetting to Fight – or – sorry I’ve been a bit of a twit
I am the least sociable person I know. I would far rather hide away in my room with an episode of Holby City than go out and talk to people. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being with other people, it’s just that I am scared of saying the wrong thing; not being the right […]Read More Do Something Different
One of the hardest parts (another one of the hardest parts – recovery is difficult) of recovery is that you don’t know who you are yet. It’s like being asked to give up your current life, job, friends, family and move to another country to start all over again. You might love it but, then again, […]Read More The memory of recovery