Animal Brains and Armies

I’ve had a difficult week this week. I have described it to myself like this: a switch in my head flicked, possibly around Wednesday, and my animal brain took over. Unfortunately, it appears that my animal brain is the part that controls my anorexia. It will be hard to understand for people whose brains simply […]

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Boundaries

I think most people would agree that, in many ways, rules are entirely unhelpful in recovering from Anorexia, the wider canon of eating disorders and many mental health conditions. It seems somewhat counter-intuitive to replace one set of ill-advised, damaging rules with any others. For someone who has spent years, or even decades, living inside […]

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About the Food

The current trend is for everyone to say that anorexia isn’t ‘about the food’. That’s what people say when they’re trying to sound knowledgeable and as though they have an insider perspective on what’s going on inside your head. Personally – and you have every right to disagree with me – I think that it’s […]

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My life in squares

I have always been jealous of people with hobbies. People who are naturally talented at something and can share it with others; spend their time creating things or achieving things whilst gaining satisfaction from the process. This has never been me – as my Mum once said, my greatest talent is my ‘enthusiasm’. This is […]

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Clinging on to Anorexia

I’ve written about this before, but it’s something that I can never quite put my finger on. As much as I draft and redraft, analogise and explain, I can’t quite say what’s in my brain. The following is complete brain-splurge in the faint hope that some of it will make a little bit of sense. […]

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A Post About my Weight

I have been weighed every week (at least once; sometimes twice) since December 2012. That’s approximately four hundred and seventy six times. Today – September 19th 2017 – I was weighed for the last time. I promised, when I started this blog, that it was going to be about neither weight nor me. You’re going […]

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I AM THE SICKEST

Raising awareness is a double-edged sword. I do it because I lived with flesh-scraping anxiety for too long before I realised it were an actual, diagnosable illness, and much longer than that before anyone gave me any help. On the other hand, I am highly aware that, the more I post about living with, through […]

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